So, we all have a story, and some of our stories began well before we started sharing them publicly.
I know that when my story began, it was riddled with symptoms of schizophrenia as far back as 20 years ago.
I’ve been in bad shape at different intervals.
Even as my symptoms appeared in full-blown nature, worsened over time, then got better (the whole cycle I go through), that it’s been a rollercoaster ride.
Sure, I could tell everyone that you just gotta give it time, that everything gets better in time, but that’s not always the case. 20 years of time hasn’t “healed me” as one might think it should.
I am better though, and for some people, things do improve and they get to a good place (considering all they go through). For others, they struggle terribly to get their footing, and their struggle goes on and on. Oftentimes, with no end in sight to their despair.
My symptoms are chronic in nature, and I guess you could say that I’ve been determined to always try. However, I have literally struggled every day of the past 20 years. From psychotic episodes to depressive episodes to suicidal thoughts to suicidal attempts to a lot of anxiety and the occasional panic attack.
All in all, though, I have found my voice. I am not fixed, I am not healed, I’m not recovered, none of the above. But, what I am is “getting through” and within these posts, you will watch my story unravel.