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Insight Is The Name Of The Game, The Name Of The Game Is Insight (Part Of A Series Of Essays)

How and where does someone with schizophrenia (or schizoaffective disorder), learn better insight?

Sure, you may pick up a few tips in the counselor’s office, or by visiting with your psychiatrist 15-minutes, three times a year.

But, for me, I now take more extreme measures.

I google, read, write, blog… learn… more about the world and my place in it.

You’ve heard me remark on my “humble beginnings” in life, in both my book and in a recent blog post.

And, quite frankly, the way that I grew up has set a spark for me, the way that nothing else has.

In wanting a better, more purpose-filled life!

I will tell you that there were times in my life before my first psychotic break, that I was losing it, clearly losing it… but, I kept on, which I think, can make the situation worse when things finally do unravel.

In any event, I recall these little notebooks that I kept, full of philosophical writings, that unfortunately, I no longer have.

So, as things were beginning to get bad for me, those “mini” journal entries (if you will), became the only bits of wisdom that I was able to hold onto.

And then, the first break.

Man, it is so challenging telling you all how that felt!

I vividly remember going from working full-time, taking a college class, working part-time, and dating; and that was about the size of my goings on, friends.

I was doing too much at once! Way too much.

To the end that I could have taken it easy, I didn’t.

In fact, I was largely incapable of taking life easy in those days.

Today is a little different.

It’s been awhile since any breaks, and the main thing I am seemingly doing these days is writing (blogging) about my life.

Not all bad.

In fact, it is far from bad, considering what I am dealing with.

If I can help someone, anyone, feel a sense of hope (or cure a sense of frustration)… whatever I am able to do… then, I feel successful!

And, no one can take that away from me.

No one.

6 thoughts on “Insight Is The Name Of The Game, The Name Of The Game Is Insight (Part Of A Series Of Essays) Leave a comment

  1. I can relate to you learning from the world around you and your place in it. This is in so many words what I am also doing. Way to go! And good for you for opening up and sharing. You provide an avenue for other people to feel safe expressing how they feel. We are lucky in our desire and motivation to write because some people don’t have that. When I find something written by another that captures my feelings it connects me to the world beyond me, a world sometimes I don’t always feel connected to (not that I always want to 😉 ). It’s good to meet other people trying to reach beyond the stigma.

    While your new way of life is not what it used to be, I applaud you for finding your path in it. It’s not always easy. Keep on keeping on friend!!! 😀


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