Skip to content

Why You’ll Think Of Me As Being Symptomatic Right Now (Part Of A Series Of Essays)

NOTE: This essay was written awhile ago. I am more stable at this time.

I have chronic schizoaffective disorder (depressive type), and I believe in this very moment, that the government is out to get me.

I truly do!

Some things that have popped up in recent days are: strange requests for my book (keep the requests coming, no worries), a memory of that time when one of our POTUS’ associates pm’ed me on a social media platform (it happened on Reddit with every indication that this person is who their 10-year old username says they are), and various other reasons why I ask my wife about this or that or the other thing.

Yes, I am having delusions right now, and I am also hearing voices.

A lot of the problem lies in how people with my diagnosis see themselves amid people and situations that attempt to “talk us down.”

The default, “No one is watching you. You’re not that important.” works much of the time, but now, I need a little help!

I realize that I am high-functioning, and that this post may turn a lot of people off.

It may even scare a few.

But, I want to be completely transparent with you, my readers.

So, here goes:

I am afraid.

And, I am becoming more and more fearful due to the stress involved with the cornoa virus.

But, no one can make life easier for me right now.

No one can stop what I am feeling.

It’s sad to think that, while definitely not the last days of humanity, we are certainly in turbulent times!

This post was written a week and a half ago (on April 1, 2020 for perspective), when the U.S. had 140,640 corona virus cases.

So, there you have it!

The right amount of events have triggered more of my psychosis, and what sucks is, I am not certain that I am completely wrong about some of the things I write about!

This, of course, is typical for me when having these types of troubles.

I hate it though, because I know it is furthering damage to my brain.

‘F’ you corona virus and ‘F’ you to all that doesn’t make sense in my world, due to my being ill.

This completely and totally sucks.

P.S. There is a decent chance that I accidentally missed 0-2 doses of my mood stabilizer medication in the past 48 hours, but I cannot remember whether I took them. Each potentially missed dose accounts for 2/3 of my daily requirement, so it’s a big mishap even missing 1 dose.

2 thoughts on “Why You’ll Think Of Me As Being Symptomatic Right Now (Part Of A Series Of Essays) Leave a comment

Leave a Reply to Mentally Ill In AmericaCancel Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

The Last Chapter

Life past, present, thoughts about the future, and ever changing world

The Psych Talk

Discussing All Things Psychological...

Happiness Between Tails by da-AL

Tales + Tails: Novel Writing + Culture + Compassion

Chihuz

COOKING, BAKING AND CHRISTIAN LIFE.

Thinking Tree

Think,Read and Dream

LA PROTAGONISTE

I am just a girl who has quite a lot to say

MiddleMe

Becoming Unstuck

A Writer's Soul

"Diving into a writers soul is discovering the broken treasure and beautiful mysteries that make you gasp for air."

Flowerchild777

...You are a free Spirit when NO-THING or BEING can block your soul from manifesting to its fullest potential.....

Readers choice

Reading feeds the imagination

TheEnlightenedMind622

Open Your Mind

Short Prose

Poetry and Short Prose by Gabriela Marie Milton 2019 Author of the Year at Spillwords Press and Author of Passions: Love Poems and Other Writings

Leverage Ambition

be you, be great

%d bloggers like this: