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Racism Is Intolerable, No Matter Who You Are… A Day Of Insight

Trigger Warning: I am a white person, and this post is directly (and indirectly) about some of my experiences with racism.

I have effectively been written off by most people that I, myself know, for sharing my views on Facebook.

And, what that tells me is that the crux of these relationships were not too stable to begin with, which was partially a shock to me.

I never personally called anyone out. For anything.

I once lived in small towns. And, I never told anyone they were being racist (except the few times I was able to speak up… all of them offline).

If any of what I write here today says anything about me, I hope that it’s that I am a person who is growing, but far from being grown.

I have the added burden of hearing these past racist conversations in my head, as I battle schizoaffective disorder.

Over time, I overlooked some instances of overt racism in my friends… and, that wasn’t right. 😦

Telling them it was wrong, was not enough. It can never be enough!

These so-called friends…

If they were only friends with me, because it somehow helped them to be less creepy or shameful… then, that’s on them!

If you feel better, befriending someone who is nice, who has a more difficult life than you (and you’re a puke), well then, I guess you can feel better about your miserable life.

The bottom line…

I messed up in the past, by not doing more than saying, “that isn’t cool what you just said.”

Yes, I spoke aloud about Black Lives Matter on social media today (and other days). Many times in fact.

I did… I had to!

I took several chances and am realizing the consequences of speaking up (I don’t regret it)!

I also live in a conservative midwest state. 😦

So, while I feel a bit numb (more regarding the people I was friends with for 20 years); on the bright side, I will not be sending out any Christmas cards to “my people” anymore.

Because “my people” don’t exist… at least in person!

And, to be frank… I am more concerned about the instances of racism I recall hearing (and, not doing enough about).

There are a few people who I put on notice (mostly family) because I finally saw them and their toxicity for what that is (I’ve written about this before).

In hindsight, I know I should have ended those relationships where racial slurs were uttered.

The person I was until recently, was someone who wanted to get along with people.

I was a person who spoke up, but really didn’t have a lot of backbone to me.

I don’t expect anyone to understand, just forgive… hopefully…

I feel real shitty about what I previously allowed into my life.

How about you? What sorts of experiences have you had with racial slurs? Are you a white person? What did you do about them?

6 thoughts on “Racism Is Intolerable, No Matter Who You Are… A Day Of Insight Leave a comment

  1. Mio, wow. I spent nearly all day yesterday with my best friend and her daughter who are both mixed race and I asked if I could ask some questions from their point of view about being black/mixed race? What does it mean to them and what could I do to make changes? They know 100% I’m not racist, my children are of mixed heritage and my “whole” (and I mean whole) family is mixed. I can’t stand racism and, I honestly believed that was enough.

    But they opened my eyes yesterday. Oh boy.

    Now they’re not politically motivated but, following recent events and the BLM movement, it’s out there and no one can ignore it (well, some people will). Now, I will call people out, like you. I’m not going to ignore or tolerate it anymore.

    They said they would never have raised the issue with me personally, cos they had no need to. But they’re glad I took the time to ask questions and so am I. I’m with you and now I’m going to go through my social media and these white “friends” are getting deleted whenever they spout nonsense. I won’t have many friends left by the time I’m finished. Hey, I’ve got my pals in the blogging community now 🙂

    Hoping you’re well Mio (I know I’ve been saying Milo, sorry, but one of my good friend in Croatia is called Milo — so — I just got confused. Caz

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the response Caz. I get that many white people are not intentionally racist, they’re not. But, some are… and, that is what is disturbing to me.

      I don’t know if I wrote on it, but I remember racist slurs being passed around a relative’s house when I was 14 or 15.

      I am sad.

      I think a lot of it may be poverty.

      But, a lot of it is lack of education, which has me thinking, why do I need to be educated to treat another human being with respect!?

      Things are bad right now in America.

      They’ve been bad.

      They’ve never gotten better, because they were never intended to be good. 😦

      Liked by 2 people

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